more information about me

i will often go off on a tangent with no idea where it will end, so if you enjoy a little bit of randomness and unfinished trains of thoughts then you're in the right place.
i play all sorts of cosy games and i will on occasion branch out to story-based, or souls-like games.
i'm not very good at talking about myself but i hope that i can make a safe and homely place for you to want to hang out in.

in progress games

stardew valley, pokémon: scarlet dlc, cult of the lamb (postgame), paleo pines, powerwash simulator: dlc, animal crossing new horizons, deep rock galactic, placid plastic duck simulator, sims 4, inscryption, sticky business

am i playing one of your favourites?

games still to play

pc:
elden ring, rimworld, houseflipper 2, feel the snow, frostpunk 2, papers please, satisfactory, temtem, the talos principle, the talos principle 2, balder's gate 3, dinkumswitch:
legend of zelda: breath of the wild, legend of zelda: tears of the kingdom, pokémon: legends arceus (again), mario bros u deluxe, mysimsplaystation:
spiderman, spiderman: miles morales, the last of us, the last of us part 2

what would you like to see me play next?

finished games

dark souls 3, stray, unpacking, portal, portal 2, untitled goose game, xcom, xcom 2, xcom: chimera squad

should i play through a finished game again?

you can find me here

• twitch
• bluesky
• tiktok

• threads
• instagram
• shop

• ko-fi
• fourthwall
• throne

disabilties

an invisible illness is a medical condition/disability that is not visible to others, it affects a persons ability to live their lives in a way they would like due to debilitating symptoms and bodily limitations that can't be outwardly seen.
a dynamic disability is a medical condition/disability that changes severity on a regular or semi-regular basis. the bad periods are often referred to as "flares"

i live with several of these conditions. i've compiled some information on these conditions and how they affect me below.
i hope you find the information interesting and please remember that

just because you can't see it, doesn't mean it isn't there
#makingtheinvisiblevisible

systemic lupus erythematosus (lupus)

lupus is a chronic auto-immune disease meaning that your immune system attacks healthy tissue instead of bacteria or viruses in your body.
lupus is typically a progressive disease meaning that it gets worse over time.
there are 4 kinds of lupus but the most common type is sle.
sle can cause inflammation of multiple organs or organ systems in the body. the symptoms vary from individual and may change over time.
my symptoms include:
skin rashes, fatigue, low-grade fevers, low immune response, hair loss and pain/swelling in my joints

rheumatoid arthritis

rheumatoid arthritis (or ra) is another chronic auto-immune disorder.
ra causes inflammation throughout your body, targeting the lining of your joints. this causes a painful swelling that can eventually result in bone erosion and joint deformities.
this inflammation can cause damage to other parts of your body as well.
my ra mainly affects my hands, wrists, hips, knees, shoulders and ankles.
during flares the swelling and pain in my joints often causes me to struggle through my usual daily activities through the pain, and a lot of the time leaves me unable to do them at all.

fibromyalgia

fibromyalgia is a disorder characterised by widespread pain.
recent research shows that fibromyalgia may infact be an auto-immune condition involving neuroinflammation and small-fiber neuropathy.
this research shows that in people with fibromyalgia (more often women), the immune system attacks certain brain cells and nerve fibers causing neurological symptoms and damage.
fibromyalgia has also been proven to cause inflammation in areas of the brain doing damage to the surrounding tissue and causing central sensitisation (a heightened response to pain).
central sensitisation causes your body to interpret both painful and non-painful sensations as pain.
my fibromyalgia causes pain and numbness through my hips and legs that often render me unable to weight bear. luckily i am on medication that limits these symptoms and keeps my fibromyalgia under control.

ehlers danlos syndrome

ehlers danlos is a group of disorders that affect your connective tissues.
connective tissues are a complex structure that provide strength and elasticity to the underlying structures in your body (skin, joints, blood vessel walls).
typical symptoms are overly flexible joints and stretchy fragile skin.
however more serious forms can cause the walls of your blood vessels, intestines or uterus to rupture.
for me i have overly flexible joints that like to dislocate themselves. i also have stretchy and fragile skin. wounds don't heal properly and my skin doesn't have the strength to hold onto stitches so they tear out.

essential tremor

essential tremor is a neurological condition that causes involuntary and rhythmic shaking. it affects any part of the body but occurs most often in the hands.
the difference between essential tremor and parkinson's is that essential tremor occurs while the affected part of the body is being used. parkinson's occurs while at rest.
essential tremor is not a dangerous condition but it does worsens over time and can get quite severe.
for me my tremor seems to be under control with medication but i do see an increase in tremor with stress, fatigue, exertion, or temperature changes.

manic depression

manic depression or bipolar 2 is a mental health disorder that causes extreme mood swings on both highs (mania) and lows (depression)
my lows are often brought about by a triggering event such as rejection sensitive dysphoria (this is where you experience severe emotional and sometimes physical pain because of a failure or a feeling of rejection even if there wasn't one).
lows come with symptoms of depression, feeling sad, empty, hopeless, a loss of interest in activities, unexplained weight loss, a decrease in appetite, insomnia, over-sleeping, fatigue, feelings of worthlessness, indecisiveness, and a decreased ability to think or concentrate.
my highs are often brought about by successes or high-dopamine foods.
highs come with symptoms of abnormal happiness, feeling jumpy or wired, an increase in activity, energy or agitation, an exaggerated sense of well-being and self-confidence, a decrease need for sleep, racing thoughts, increase in talkativity, distractibility, poor decision making (sudden shopping sprees or foolish investments, sudden extreme life changes)

audhd

audhd is the term for when a person is diagnosed with both autism and adhd. these conditions, while similar, affect a person in often contrasting ways, this results in a tug of war inside a person's mind.
for me my autism is very strong on not liking change. everything must be as planned, and everything must have a plan a, b, and c. however, my adhd likes spontinaetity and dislikes routine and order.
when i am unmedicated, i find it difficult to do even the smallest of tasks. i will know i have to do something like take a shower, or wash the dishes, but i will be unable to physically get my body to move to do these things.

the rest

i couldn't possibly go through and list every condition i have and the way it affects me but as a quick summary the rest are; appetite dysregulation, anxiety, ptsd, pcos, ibs, major depression, c-ptsd, dyslexia.
on top of this we're investigating iih and endometriosis.
i'm always really open about the life of being chronically ill so if you have any questions please do ask!